For those of you who don't know this, or are not as refined as to know the nuances of fine cuisine, Poptarts are the most perfect food. They are, in all their gooey crusty goodness, the yardstick by which every other pastry, nay, every dessert and sweet breakfast food, must be measured. As a breakfast staple, Brown Sugar Cinnamon must be toasted; Chocolate versions may be eaten raw or heated. Once the crinkly shiny wrapper is opened, both pastries must be consumed within the week, err, day, perhaps hour. The important part is that it must be consumed, although a slightly stale Poptart is still completely edible. Did I say edible? I meant delicious. Those that know me, know of my Poptart diet. Not, alas, that I eat only Poptarts. It is just that Poptarts are the yardstick by which every other food is measured. The lovely Frosted Chocolate Vanilla Crème is 190 calories and 5 grams of fat. Potato chips are 160 calories and 10 grams of fat. No brainer, people! The brown sugar cinnamon has a scandalous 7 grams of fat, but still beats most fried foods. When I gaze at a Big Mac, or worse, the Whopper, I can think back to the Frosted Pumpkin Pie Poptart, a lovely Autumn delight, and resist. At 5 grams of fat and 200 calories, it is still a dietary bargain.
I am a realistic woman. I cannot exist on Poptarts alone, nor would I want to. However, it does allow me to see that good things come in small packages, can be bought cheaply, and to completely renew my faith in humankind.
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